Last month was a hard month for our family. On February 18th, I went to Utah in order to take a mini-vacation and spend some time with my boyfriend and my family. However, the week prior, grandma had a fall in Yuma and hurt her knee. Mom and Uncle Jeff flew down there to drive her back to Logan, as she is stubborn and refused to see a doctor in Yuma. The plan then became that I would shorten my trip by one day so that I could bring mom back home with me. This meant that I was going to be able to introduce my boyfriend, Juan, to grandma and grandpa.
I got into Utah at 3, stopped and picked up Juan and headed over to see grandma and grandpa. Grandma was able to visit with Juan and ask him several questions. He then left to go pick up his son and so I sat down with grandma, grandpa and mom and chatted. Grandma and Grandpa were giving me the 20 questions about Juan. Grandma then tried to readjust herself and slid right onto the floor. This was about 5:40. I quickly called Uncle Jeff to come and help get her back up. Grandma laid back to rest a little, and within minutes we were calling 911 because something wasn't right. She was reaching out as if to ask for help, and her eyes were huge. She then laid back and seemed to go to sleep. However, mom was kneeling beside her trying to get her to respond. I even took my turn. When the paramedics arrived, it didn't take them long to realize she needed a lot of help. It didn't take them long to need to start CPR and intibate her. At this point, dad was calling and I was trying to fill him in. And then, I had to call Jen and let her know what was going on, and to have her call the family. The paramedics took her to the hospital and did all they could, but her heart was done. The next phone call I had to make was to Kim (Jen's phone was buys), to let everyone know that she had passed away, at 6:45. They figure that a bloodclot broke free from her knee and went to her heart. In a short hour and five minutes, I went from laughing with grandma to saying goodbye. My mini vacation quickly became unreal. I spent the next days in shock, and trying to help as much as possible. She was laid to rest on the 23rd.
Even today, I cry at the drop of a hat. Watching grandma receive CPR and get intibated, not something that I want to remember. What I do want to remember is the moments rigt before. I spent years not being able to see grandma, and so I feel privileged that I was able to be the grandchild who was with her as this all took place. I would give anything to not have the CPR memory, but I would not give up the moments before. Grandma is a wonderful woman, and I know that she is no longer in pain. I am so thankful that she did not have to suffer, and that her death was extremely quick. She is no longer in any pain, and she is watching over all of us. I am so thankful for eternal families, as I know I will be with her again one day. Hopefully not too soon! :)
What I got out of this experience is to slow down. I have decided to take a break from school, for a few years. I don't want to miss anything with my children, and I want them to remember me as having fun with them, not as always doing homework. I have stopped taking work home with me and I have started living a stress free life. I am also looking forward to, and dreading, Christmas. I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to learn grandma's candy making tricks. I now feel that it is my job to pick up where she left off. I want to fill her shoes and make all the Christmas candy for the family. Big task, I know, but I am just as stubborn as her and I will be able to do it!
3 comments:
That was a great post. I just wish that I wasn't so much of a baby and cry all the time. I agree with you that I hate the thought of watching the emt's working with her as the last of her. I just have to remember how nice she looked in her casket. It was beautiful and I'm also grateful for the opportunity to help put her temple clothes on her as well as her rings. I feel and so does Aunt Kris, that we had that time with her to tell her good bye and that we loved her very much. That is what I want to remember the most. I also want to thank you and the rest of my kids for all the help you've given me at this time and also the support you gave to her and now give to grandpa. Please keep him in your hearts and call him once in a while.
Carolyn i am a kid and it was such a good post that i cried and i am greatfull that we have eternal families and i know that she is waching over us and i know she is laughing about Brooke's funny things
You're not just a kid, your Kylee! I love you sweetie :)
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